Saturday, February 28, 2009

Oh sweet spring such beautiful, surprising green!


I spent the morning raking up dead winter leaves
where underneath was little green
and promises
of pink, yellow, purple, red...

I actually got hot enough to take my sweater off . 
*click on pics to spot the drama!
-the dream of finding your way through the maze of a dungeon back in to the sunlight...

**eating outside/planting a garden/walking again/ feeling social-being social/bbqs/fruit on the trees/water from the hose making rainbows in the sun/ wearing skirts and summer dresses/light into the evening/flowers, flowers & more flowers/ open doors and open windows...
-the dream of unfolding an endless slip of curry-colored raw silk against a blue sky.

I filled 5 0r 6 bags with gray and brown and damp and dead and uncovered little gardens. Early flowers just beginning ...

        * There are some of you I missed so much this morning because the joy I felt made me        remember!
-the dream of counting seeds and carrying pouches of fragrant herbs across the desert?
-the dream of knowing you'll be born long before the sperm meets the egg.
-the dream of song. and dance!

Friday, February 27, 2009

Healing ancient wounds


Photos: great, great grandmother Lucille Street Fulton, great grandmother Dorothy Fulton Alling, grandmother Doric Alling Welles (at the bottom of the steps) and her sister Judy, aunt Deirdre Welles McCarthy, me and my mom Viva (Esther) Zarmati Welles

I was reading Rob Brezny's Free Will Astrology for this week and the gemini horoscope (not my sign) struck me.
He wrote about "his friend Riley" who was the first member of her family to attend college. In her senior year she had nightmares that her relatives didn't want her to finish school and that they were trying in various ways to stop her. She persevered and finally, a week after graduation, she dreamed that her ancestors "came to her in the form of a great choir singing songs in praise of her success". Her therapist "speculated that the dream meant she had not only overcome the inertia of her heritage, but had also healed an ancient wound in her family".
It's no mystery that we all carry ancestral patterns which I believe are imprinted both by nature and by nurture. I love the idea though that we can, through our thoughts and actions, not only break the patterns but also, by doing so, "heal ancient wounds".
So that by being present in the present we can heal the past and alter the course of the future...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

This little bee

This little bee died just like that. On my floor with a heart on it's head!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


As far as I can tell, rain is only a good thing under a very narrow set of circumstances. I grew up in a small town in New Mexico. We didn't have running water in our home and hauled drinking water from the next town over. For bathing and washing dishes we used rain water which we collected in 50 gallon barrels. We heated the water on the wood stove and bathed over a drain in the kitchen floor that led to the garden.
I didn't think much about the rain or the water.
When I was eleven years old I moved to Manhattan. Besides the discovery of amenities, which I took to like a real champion, I was obliged to notice the rain.
Rain in New York seemed very ugly to me. A wet blanket that remained damp for way too long. It brought out awful smells from non-porous surfaces. Urine and sweat and garbage... It made me feel claustrophobic to be touched by the dingy droplets and there in the city, rain always seemed to carry with it an enveloping grayness which was thick and heavy.
As a reader I've read countless descriptions of the "romance" of rain. As a music lover I've enjoyed many songs about the sound of rain as it falls under different sets of circumstances. I've had many friends who's opinions I generally respect describe how enjoyable it is to walk in the rain or to watch the rain fall against the window pane...
But all of these references remain mysterious and unbelievable for me.
I've since moved back to New Mexico and have identified for myself what is good about rain. It must be here and it must be summertime. The storm must be big and brief and full of electricity. Then the ground wakes up. The earth smells like sweet, clean, rich possibility and desert plants respond accordingly. For one who is paying attention a whole crop of colors rise on the landscape, laying low and buzzing with life. Dehydrated bugs wake up and take in minute amounts of water which will sustain them until the next rain fall. The water touches down and stays only long enough to cool and quench before it rises up again. And most of the time, amazingly, when you look up with wonder, somewhere in the sky you will find a rainbow!

Friday, February 13, 2009

February 14th, 2009


paper goods

... just decorations. Cheery, pretty, good use of empty chocolate paper cups (whatever they're called (miniature muffin wrappers?!) I know they have a name!)) and paper scraps.
Also an acceptable reason I think to have to have (and eat) lots of chocolates so the paper cup things will be liberated for art! 
I saw some similar items in a shop and thought they were really lovely. I like to support fellow artists especially when they inspire me and so I thought maybe I'd get one as a special treat. But, when I found out they were $120 I thought, I can make one of those myself, for free.
So I came home and made a few. They're very different from the ones I saw but I did borrow the idea. I figure that since I can't afford to show my enthusiasm by purchasing the artwork I might as well go for the highest form of compliment; stealing the idea!!!

Monday, February 9, 2009

yes ,no, yum, yuck

So here's a little theory small enough to carry in your pocket.
I believe that every single thing in life can be categorized by ; Yes, No, Yuck, Yum and combinations thereof. Yes and No represent the intellectual response to everything in life whereas Yuck and Yum represent the emotional response.
eg. cleaning the toilet: Yes Yuck (It's something that must be done from time to time but I don't enjoy it one bit)
eg. seconds on dessert: No Yum (Not good for me, I know it but mmmm, just a little bit more of the crust on the side there next to that juicy blueberry)
Both of these combinations describe being at odds with yourself on some level.

eg. inspiration: Yes Yum ( I've got a great idea, all the materials I need and a day off from work)
eg. george bush: No Yuck (I don't agree with this man, I don't like this man & I'm not going to vote for him)
Both of these combinations describe harmony with thoughts and feelings.
So, as you go through a day of making decisions and having choices and as you seek to be in perfect harmony at all times, there are only four words to remember. 

Yes, No, Yum,Yuck

The more Yes Yum and No Yuck there is, the happier I believe you'll be.
Especially the Yes Yum part!


What wouldn't you do?

When I first got my laptop, my uncle Toby helped me get it set up. He's a whiz with computers and has lots of good software to boot! He installed this thing on my computer called oblique strategies. When you click it open, it gives you a single thought or question to consider. When I first got it, I clicked it a lot. I used it as motivation when I felt stuck (especially creatively) & then like most new discoveries on the computer, I kind of forgot it after awhile.
Last night I saw the icon for it on my tool bar and clicked. It said: What wouldn't you do?
I went through things like the seven sins and decided I would definitely do each of them under certain circumstances . Then I thought of silly things. Would I eat dog poop? Again, under certain circumstances, in a heartbeat (even though it activates my gag reflex to think about it!). Then I went through my greatest fears. Would I swim with sharks?  Yes, there are even circumstances I was able to imagine where I would swim with sharks. Then it came to me. Aha! I would never knowingly torture somebody for no good reason. But then I thought of a friend of mine who did just that. He's not a bad person I don't think but he found himself in a set of circumstances where he was able to cross lines he had never considered plausible. So I realized that I couldn't say for sure that I would never torture anyone though I can say I'm unable to conceive of a circumstance in which I would. I don't think I'd do a lot of things and I'd like to think that I would never do some things but after considering it for a long time last night I realized that I don't think one can't be 100% certain about what different sets of circumstances might enable us to do. If you have children, imagine what you'd do if their life was on the line. Or your own life or the life of someone you love. Imagine if you were faced with choices about the suffering of one versus many. Imagine all the different scenarios that could potentially cause you to act against your conscience or your own nature or to overcome the things which terrify you more than anything....
What wouldn't you do?

Sunday, February 1, 2009

i couldn't resist...

They were having a sale on fake flowers. 50% off. So pretty in the middle of winter and with fallen branches outside, a perfect project. Early spring at 322!

interesting science

my friend sally has a special program for taking a photo of a person, cutting it in half and sewing like sides together (left with left and right with right).
it is a personality illustration of sorts and supposedly, some faces change dramaticaly under the switcheroo. 
mine look kind of funny but thankfully I don't seem to be too lopsided
which i think bodes well for my personality as a whole...
apparently, there are people who can look at a face and read a whole lifetime. what side we sleep on, what we worry about, where we are generous... 
interesting science.