time...

the time it takes to change a diaper

and to nurse for sustainance and to nurse for comfort

the time it takes to inspect a toe

or to watch the rise and fall of a tiny chest

the time it takes for sleep to become hunger and for satiety to become sleep

the time it takes for another day to have passed, certainly not 24 hours!

the time it takes for the rash to arrive and then to heal?

the time it takes for the eyes to open

for the umbilical cord to dry and fall away from the belly button

for the face to change again and again...

the time it takes before the first bath the first time outside the first walk to the mailbox the first...

the time it takes to know each expression, each turn of the wrist each stretch and yawn and quiver of lips

the time it takes to feel comfortable in the shower without her or even brushing teeth or having a simple, tiny little pee...

the time that evaporates and the time that extends

the time we made love and made this little person

who we love and who we admire and respect and enjoy...

the time that passes while i feel sad

the time that feels overwhelming

the time that feels like joy in bloom

the time little fingers curl around big fingers or find my chest or fall like butterflies against my ribcage...

the time spent thinking about all the other things i could/should be doing

the time spent being completely present and enjoying exactly what i'm doing

the time spent preparing and the time spent winging it

time in and out of the zone

the time zone of new baby

the heart zone of new time

time?

I can see already that any illusions I had about blogging and projects and (brushing my teeth) are on temporarary as time allows status.

I will do my best to share the cute, sweet love but please know that silence is no indication of anything other than an adjustment to this new time.

My god, even though I knew I'd love this little tiny girl, I never knew it was possible to love this much!!!